


The Death of Hope

by early works (jennyraylen)



Series: Old Star Wars One Shots [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Visions, One Shot, Reylo - Freeform, Sad Ben Solo, Sad Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26187349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennyraylen/pseuds/early%20works
Summary: A Post-TLJ one shot where Rey tries to convince herself to kill her archnemesis, Kylo Ren. Written before TROS.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Old Star Wars One Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901638
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	The Death of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine this as a dream Rey has, but if you want this to be real, go for it. 
> 
> This story was inspired by playing with my little sister's Rey and Kylo Ren dolls. Who says playing with toys is just for kids?
> 
> Originally posted January 14, 2019.

Rey's breath came heavy, thick with doubt. She pressed her back to the wall. His presence was a dark circle of self-loathing and pain that circled endlessly inside him. He was only a few meters away, just around the corner, but out of sight. He must sense her. So why did he not come to her and stop what he must know she planned to do?

Rey closed her eyes and took one deep breath to steady her thoughts before turning the corner. Kylo Ren turned to face her. "Rey," he said simply. He stared, his eyes--his deep brown, lonely eyes--piercing her.

"Kylo Ren." Before she could think, before her doubts could stop her from seeing the act through, she took out her blaster from her belt and shot a fire straight at his cold heart. A stab of painful regret pierced her the moment she pressed the trigger, but it was too late. The laser bolt zipped toward her enemy--

And missed him entirely, hitting the control panel three feet above his head. She had missed.

"Why do you hate me?" he asked softly, his voice sweet like sugar, a taste Rey still could not believe existed.

Rey wanted to weep from the sorrow and shame, but instead, she sharpened her glare and raised her chin. "I don't hate you. But if peace is to be found, you must be destroyed. I'm the only one left who has the strength and will to do it." Leia was the only other one strong enough in the Force to kill Kylo, but she had already made it perfectly clear that she would never kill her son. Rey was the only one left.

"You're right."

Rey was not surprised as she had been a year prior, during one of their force connections, at his self-loathing words. She could sense his feelings and knew he hated himself more than she hated him. And yet he did not turn. He remained strong in the Dark Side of the Force.

Rey had not seen that face in years--not since their last Force connection when she had closed the Falcon's door, cutting off their connection for what seemed to be forever. She missed that face. That sad, lonely, conflicted face that only wanted someone to understand him. The face that belonged to a boy who loved her.

 _No, Rey, this is exactly what you promised to avoid,_ she told herself. Ben was gone. The man she thought understood her and cared for her was dead, replaced by this hollow shell of a being. This shell might even consider it a gift for her to strike him down.

"You won't kill me. You can't do it." His words, spoken in that deep haunting voice, forced her out of her daze.

"Yes I can. I am a Jedi. I am just as powerful as you, if not more."

Kylo Ren almost seemed as though he wanted to laugh. Rey twisted her forehead in confusion.

"I don't doubt your ability." His voice was not derisive or teasing, as she had expected, but solemn. "You are strong. Stronger than I could ever be. But you can't do it. You can't make the killing blow."

"But I--"

"The blaster bolt you shot at me did not come close to harming me. You aimed high on purpose." He stepped closer, too close. Rey turned around and stepped away. "Why can't you kill me?"

"I don't know," she whispered truthfully. She didn't know why she couldn't kill the monster. He had broken her heart once. He had betrayed her and everyone she loved. She had been stupid to believe in him at all--so why didn't she hate him?

 _I only hate myself for my mistake,_ she thought. _I shouldn't have trusted you._

This war would continue endlessly because of her weakness. Because she loved a man who had been destroyed. No, who had never existed at all. Ben Solo. An imaginary boy she had conjured up from nothing, just like parents who cared about her. No one cared for Rey. No one ever would. She was on her own.

The only way to end this tragedy, this never-ending cycle of pain, was to strike down the last thing of pure evil that existed. And he was right there, behind her, so close she could hear him breathing.

That was Luke's mistake. He had let evil continue because he had refused to snuff it out. His failure hadn't been trying to kill Ben Solo. His failure was not seeing the action through to its end and destroying darkness before it could spread.

Tears sprang to Rey's eyes out of desperation for some hope, some goodness within that monster. "Why didn't you join me? Why didn't you turn? I felt that conflict within you. You could have been happy with me! With us! Your mother would have forgiven you!" Rey had spun around to shout in his face. Spit flew out of her mouth as the words came out as a snarl. "Why did you have to throw that all away? What was it for? Revenge? Power?"

Kylo Ren did not turn away from her or strike back at her with words just as sharp. His face crumpled. "I don't know any other way."

"I said I would help you! But now it's too late. You're too far gone, and you must die." She looked down at the blaster in her hand. She tried to bring it up and point it at his chest. She could sense from his feelings that he would not stop her. He would let her kill him. She had been right--he did want to die. He wanted this to all be over. But her arm would not move. She finally let the tears fall. Through her sobs, she cried, "So why can't I do it? Why can't I kill you?"

Unexpectedly, she found herself wrapped in his arms, pressed up against his chest. Her sob caught in a gasp, but she did not pull away. Her tears still fell, but more slowly. She heard him whisper softly. "I'm scared, Rey, of turning back. I have failed you too deeply. I have failed everyone, and I fear it's too late for me."

Rey sniffed and replied through her hiccups. "No one's--ever--really gone." Luke was proof of that. He had come back and saved the Resistance after swearing off the Jedi and the Force entirely. Her inability to kill him was proof that there was still good left in him. A truly evil man wouldn't try to comfort her after she had tried to kill him. He wouldn't hate himself so completely as Kylo did.

Ben Solo was still in there, she knew that now, as he embraced her and she leaned into his chest for support. The boy she loved was not gone. But he was lost in a labyrinth of suffering and sorrow. He had to dig himself out.

Rey couldn't help him do that, as much as she might want to. It was a journey he would have to make on his own. And so she pulled away, and he let her go. Perhaps he understood, perhaps not. Maybe the war would never end, and he would never turn from his dark ways, and she would be forced to kill him.

But not now. Not yet.

There was still hope.


End file.
